no vs yesWomen in Business are often overwhelmed by how much they have to do…at work…at home…with their families. And many times, they hear from other professionals that they need to learn how to say “no” to have a better balance. As a woman who is often in that seat of too much to do and not enough time to do it, I have a different point of view…be open to the possibility of “YES!”

WHAT? You might be thinking that I’m encouraging you to agree to more work and activities when you are already at your limit! Exactly the opposite. We often say “yes” to the wrong things or things that give us no joy. For instance, how many committees, meetings, assignments do you say “yes” to? Yet when a fun or new opportunity comes up…lunch with an old friend, taking the afternoon off with your partner, or taking on a new business client that would require travel – we often say “no” because we don’t think we can fit one more thing in the schedule.

A dear friend shared her experience this past weekend. She was in the house preparing dinner for her children and grandchildren, while doing laundry and cleaning the house. Through the windows, she could hear them out by the pool. The backyard was filled with laughter and she heard their joy as they played. On two occasions, her daughter poked her head in the back door and said “Mom, come out and join us!” to which my friend said, “Not yet, let me get these chores done first.” Thirty minutes went by, and her daughter finally charged in the back door, turned off the stove, picked up the laundry basket and said “We will help you do this later. You are going to miss this moment with your kids and grandkids…a memory that could be one of those days that you cherish forever.” My friend thought her daughter was crazy….crazy smart! Even though she was younger, she pointed out what mattered most. Saying “YES” to that moment – spending time playing with her grandchildren – was more important than the other duties. We women think we need permission to have fun…and that is not the case!

In business, we do exactly the same thing. With a day filled with meetings and responsibilities, we stop going to networking events, or don’t take that lunch with someone in our field, because we just have too much to do. However, missing those opportunities could hamper your business or career. Those “no’s” could the ones that prevent taking your business to the next level. When we were building our small family winery, we volunteered to help with pouring wine at an event in Old Town, San Diego. It was one more thing to do that week…something we could have easily declined. However, we worked the 3-hour event and at the end of the event, a woman invited my husband and me to lunch to talk about an “opportunity.” Accepting that lunch invitation led to the opening of our wine and beer tasting room in Old Town, San Diego…a successful business venture that made us one of the top rated wineries in San Diego County for 2014.

Be open to the possibility of “yes.” It’s okay to say “no”…to the mundane, repetitious or brain-draining activities. However when you are invited to participate in something that would take you outside your comfort zone, or put you in front of new people or opportunity, give a resounding “YES.” It could open new possibilities and adventures that you never dreamed of!


About Your Columnist

Tammy Rimes CWi Member Tammy Rimesis a featured columnist for Women Taking Charge, the official blog of Connected Women of Influence, where she covers how anyone can become spectacular at what they do. Tammy Rimes owns Hacienda de las Rosas Winery, featured on the front page of USA Today, and winner of the 2014 San Diego Reader’s Poll of Top 5 Wineries in San Diego County. Tammy is the author of “Drink Fine Wine…Ride Fine Horses – Leading the Life of Your Dreams,” a book that provides a fun and informative guideline on how anyone can begin their own dream life.

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